Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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