quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
