No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
