Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
