I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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