the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
