i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
