hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
