I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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