I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
40s are totally the cure
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
