You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
