is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
