Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
