The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize