I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize