I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
