a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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