I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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