you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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