how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize