so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
