why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
