Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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