Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I would ride that face into the sunset
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
