It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
