shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
