btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
