Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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