Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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