He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
