Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
