have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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