used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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