So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
