How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
