when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
