There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
