When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
