I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
