the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
