Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
