New low: just hacked my moms facebook
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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