I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
