Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
