If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
