they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
