yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
