worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
