how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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