If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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