operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
home. puking in laundry basket.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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