I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
