You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
