sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am naked and annoyed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
