tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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