No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
