i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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