hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Farmville is her only friend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize