i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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